Never Give Up

Ok. I admit this I am writing this one for myself and anyone else who needs it.


Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill.
When funds are low, and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is strange with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about.
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow.
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned  inside out.
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you can never tell how close you are.
It  may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit.
It's when things seem worst.
That you must not quit.

I don't know who wrote this, but it is on a plaque I bought a long time ago when my life started turning around. Granted at the time I didn't realize my life had started turning around, but looking back I realize that is when my life started to change.

It was at that time I had landed a job that would lead to where I am now. That job gave me the confidence I needed to realize what I was worth. Before that I kept telling myself I was better than minimum wage jobs and I would find a way past those jobs. Yet before that job it was just something I told myself and half way believed. After that job I started realizing I could do it. Something about receiving over $1,000 a week after taxes really makes you see things differently. Granted that is the only job I made that much money at and granted I worked a crap load of overtime to get those checks, but the point is seeing those checks opened my eyes. I saw that if I could do it once I could do it again.

So when that job ended and I started my next job I knew I took a steep pay cut. I went from over $20 an hour down to below $10 an hour. Still seeing those paychecks kept me believing I could make that kind of money again. So I worked hard and eventually worked my way up in the company to a better position. That position is where I am now and I may not be making as much money right now, but I am gaining experience that I can use. Whether I use this experience in this company or whether I end up going else where doesn't matter. What does matter is I know have an Associates degree (which I hope to work on making a Bachelors) and I have new experience that will help me with improving my work no matter the path I choose to follow.

You see there were many times I could have given up. There are so many I would rather not think about them. Instead I kept telling myself I could do this. That I was meant to be something more and I still believe I am meant to be something more.

Granted I still have a long way to come in work and life. Such as getting past nerves that took over today when I needed nerves of steel and confidence. The funny part about that is I wasn't really that nervous for until I walked in and she told me she just wanted to get to know us. Then she sat back, arms crossed, and just listened. At that point I started feeling like a little kid who was in trouble and telling her story of what happened full well knowing it didn't matter. At the end I think I loosened up and maybe recovered. Well I hope I recovered some, but the point is this. Yes, I screwed up and froze. Yes, I should have done better and I probably should have better prepared myself. Still though I am not going to believe I am in a sinking ship and that I have no way out. If for some reason this one meeting decides my fate where I am at then I will take that as a sign that it is time for me to move on else where. Especially since I haven't frozen up like that in years and I really can't place the last time I did. So I am going with the perspective that no matter what "What will be will be and I will take it and make it great". That is my motto and who I am. I never go down for to long before rising backup to the top.

As for in my personal life. Again I have been blessed with meeting some great guys, some alright guys, and some guys that I can only say we had fun and I learned something from it. Even though I loved them all in my own way. None of them were the one due to my having to find myself before I could be happy with them. Them needing to figure out where they were heading. Bad timing or just heading in totally different directions. Despite all that I am still looking for the guy who is happy with not saving me,but loving me instead. If I never find him than at least I have friend's and family who love me and aren't trying to save me. Honestly I really can't complain as long as I have them surrounding me with so much love and understanding. Though it would be nice to have someone to share the load with sometimes and I could snuggle in with after a bad day to make it shine a little brighter. Either way though I am finally happy and content with my life. I have a nice apartment, a good job, and the best of friends any person can ask for. Plus certain dreams of my family finding a way to get a long I think is starting to fall into place. Still lots of work to be done, but I think we are making progress.

I hope you don't give up on whatever it is you are striving for. Remember as long as your alive it is never to late to achieve your dreams. Whatever they may be. Shoot for the stars. Rope the moon. If all else fails just dance with those around you. That will make it all better. Oh and never let grouches take you down. Always laugh at them and hope they realize how silly they sound.