Family Is.. . . . .

I know I haven't written in a long time. Well here it goes. I am going to try to do this agian.

So with the holidays approaching fast I have been thinking about family again. Alright I always think about family. It seems to be my main concentration always. Here it goes my current thoughts about family. I am pretty sure we can all relate.

While thinking about my family and the other families I know I have realized that all families have fights. Each family has a feud in it and all family members know how to reach those dark spots that we all wish would disappear. So why is it family fights with each other and why do we push those buttons that we know we can and probably shouldn't? I think it has a lot to do with love. I know it sounds crazy, but those who love the hardest and are to much a like seem to fight the most.

So with that said here are the main reasons I have found that most families fight about.

One of the main things I have noticed family has a tendency of starting fights due to caring to much. We all seem to think we know what is best for those we love. Which is funny since most of us don't know what is best for ourselves, but I guess it is easier to see the mistakes when you are the one on the outside looking in. Every person has to make their own choices and yes I do still think if you love someone you have to let them know when you think they are making a mistake. Maybe the key is as simple as not pushing to hard, but also accepting you can't make someone do what "you" think is right. Everyone must make their own mistakes. It isn't easy to watch the ones we love make mistakes. Especially when we have been through several of the mistakes we are seeing them go through.  Why is it harder for us to let the ones we are closest to and love the most to listen to them or even to accept their choices? Maybe it is due to being to close to each other.

There is another thing I have noticed that families fight about. How our family choose to live their lives. Almost every person I know has complained about how a family memeber chooses to live their lives. Here is an idea of what I mean.

Let's say there are two sisters (this seems to happen more with siblings than other family members). We will call one Abbie and one Tabitha. Abbie is the younger sister and feels as if no matter what happens her life is never good enough as far as Tabitha is concerned. Tabitha thinks Abbie should be more stable in her life and live her life more like a business venture than an adventure. Both sisters live a good life. They both have phenomenal kids who excel in school and life. Both of them have made mistakes in love and both have chosen different paths to get where they are. 

Tabitha married a man who was stable, business minded, and maybe a little obsessive compulsive. She loves her husband, her family, and her life. They have a beautiful house and all the comforts money can buy. Which is a good life. Some people might feel she made sacrifices for all those things and maybe she did. If she did though that was her choice. Her decision.

Abbie on the other hand has chosen to follow her heart and not so much her mind. She has been divorced a few times and may not have always made the best financial decisions. Even with all that she has a beautiful daughter, she has a good life, and finally has found a guy who seems to be the right guy. Instead of making her decisions based on her mind she choose to follow her heart. Have all her decisions been wise? Probably not. Has she made sacrifices to try to find what she wants? Yes, she probably has. Again though her decisions are hers. She hasn't destroyed her life or her child's life. They live in a nice home and have the most important comforts of life. They have love, a home, clothes on their backs, food on the table, and each other.

Due to the sister's decisions and their different view points they are fighting. Tabitha doesn't understand Abbie's choices due to they seem like bad choices to her. What Tabitha doesn't see and isn't understanding is that the choices that were good for her aren't necessarily the right choices for Abbie. Abbie has to live her life for her. Just as Tabitha had to live her's for herself. Instead of being made at Abbie for her choices Tabitha should look at Abbie's life and see that her life isn't bad it is just different. Abbie isn't homeless, she isn't on drugs, or dependant on any substance. Abbie's daughter isn't suffering from not having the things that Tabitha provides for her daughters. Both of their lives have good points and bad, but they are the right lives for each of them. They are the lives that God gave them and they chose. To fight about that is pointless and futile. If Tabitha wants to be made at her sister than she should wait for a bigger problem to occur, but she should never shut her sister out. Her sister is a gift she was given.

We all make our choices. Sometimes our family approves and sometimes our family doesn't. Sometimes we approve of our families choices and sometimes we don't. Those differences shouldn't create road blocks between each other. The only time family should ever walk away from each other is when the differences can hurt the other person.

I guess my point is we all have issues with our families and in our families. This holiday season let's all try to put our issues aside. Let's decide to make amends with our family. Invite that family member you are mad at to dinner, call that estranged family member or send them a card whichever makes the most sense. Just don't let life and differences make you decide to loose the greatest gift you were given. Each of us were given a family for a reason. That family can be annoying, irritating, and a lot more. Yet there is one thing they have that no other person has they are a part of a tree. They come from the same roots as you. It doesn't matter if you got grafted on to the tree or if you sprouted out of the tree. The fact is those roots are what drives us and keeps us tied to each other. We don't choose our family and I would like to believe there is a good reason for that. Maybe it is that the people in our family are meant to teach us something. For some it may be patience. Others it may be understanding and for some it may even be minding our own business. The thing is family is important. Embrace your family this holiday season even the drunks, the dreamers, the crazies, the busy bodies, the irritants, the bullies, the egocentric, even the materialistic. Embrace each other and remember you do have at least one thing in common. Each other.