So today someone reminded me of one of my biggest pet peeves with people today. That is how inconsicerate people can be. I am not going to say I am innocent of having bad manners at times. The difference is I try not to fall into those habits. I work hard to remember what is right and feel quilty any time I find myself falling into other's bad habits.
Just for in case people need to know what is being considerate and having manners. One important thing is that when other people are involved in doing something it is important to give them ample notice. Keep them informed of what is happening. If plans change then let the other people know. If you can't make it some where let them know. If you are going to be late the polite thing again is to let them know. This prevents them expecting something is going to happen that isn't and allows them to make other plans if necessary. There have been times when I made plans with people and they flaked. So I ended up missing out on other things that I really wanted to do, but said no to thinking I had plans already. I have also found myself asking people if they wanted to do something and I got the "I don't know yet, but I will definitely let you know" only to never hear back from them. So I stop asking people to do things. Why? Because what is the point. I am either going to be wasting my time thinking I have plans and miss out on other things I could be doing or I won't ever get a clear answer to make the plans. It is all kind of depressing.
Have I backed out of plans before? Yes, but usually it is from fear. I know not a good excuse and I kick myself for it every time. I have started getting past that. Most of the time though I call the other people involved. Have I ever given a vague answer? Yes, usually do to I don't have a car so I never know if I am going to feel like taking a bus some where and then a taxi home. Could I ask for a ride? Probably, but I try not to depend on people. Again do to most people really can't be depended on. Hard lesson I learned at an extremely young age. Always plan to depend on yourself and if someone helps then be extremely grateful.
Another thing I was taught was rude is showing up at people's houses unannounced. Fine if you are a really close friend driving by in the neighborhood, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or family I can excuse that. The reason it is rude has nothing to do with the whole having the house clean. It is that you don't know what is happening with the person at that time. They may have out of town guests staying with them. There may be a family emergency. Who knows what may be happening so to just assume they are available for you to drop in on is kind of rude.
I could go on and on with all the things that people have forgotten when it comes to manners.The point is this. That most rules of etiquette were created in order to be considerate of the people around you or that are involved in what you are doing. I am not saying that some rules of etiquette aren't ridiculous. Trust me I will be the first one to make fun of the stupid rules, but the ones dealing with being courteous to others should never be forgotten.
Why have so many people become so obsessed with themselves and immediate satisfaction? How can we expect any relationship of any sort to survive the demanding me syndrome? Don't get me wrong I like to have things my way at times, but not at the sacrifice of another person's happiness. It seems with every step forward we take we also lose some of the values and ideas that were good from the past. Maybe we all need to take a step back and consider what we can bring with us into the future from past generations. Then take those lessons and meld them with our current knowledge. I think we might find we will be a lot farther a head if we find a way to take the good ideas from the past and combine them with the present and future ideas. Please don't forget manners and proper etiquette or being considerate of another person's time and feelings. When we forget these things we are no longer moving forward, but in actuality we are moving backward.
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