Periodically I think to myself "What if tomorrow never came?" or "What if I got the news that I only had a short time period to live?". I know these are dark thoughts, but I have often wondered these things my whole life. Yet I won't ever really create a bucket list. Creating one of those means I take the chance of regretting not doing something. So here is what I do instead.
There are things I want to do in my life while I can. Instead of making a list that can fail due to unknown things I prefer to just keep in mind what I want to do and try to find a way to make it happen.
Some of the things I want to make happen are. I want to go to Ireland. Have for as long as I can remember. Along with that I want to visit all 50 states and see as many National Parks as I can. Along with a few state parks. So far I think I am doing good with the states. I am in around the twenties. Eventually I want to get my license. A house of my own would be nice. Also I want to learn to Tat, decorate cakes, and any other craft I can get a chance to do. Oh the most important two that I really feel isn't in my control. Marriage and having children. I want those two more than the others, but finding a guy who I can get along with for a long period of time that is attracted to me; not really easy.
As for what I would do if I knew I was dying. I would try to plan a party where all my friends and family could be together. If I couldn't do that then I would try to travel to see them all. I might still do the traveling thing if I had time as well as the party. Mainly due to I want some quality time with certain people before it is over. I would definitely have to go to Oregon to visit a lot of people, Idaho to visit an old family friend who might as well be family, and maybe a few military bases to see some really great people. Oh and Wyoming to see my family for sure. I also would have to go and visit some of my old home areas. I know that most of them have changed drastically, but the memories are still there. No changes that they make can remove those memories from the place. Sort of the idea that each moment releases a memory that attaches itself to the place. The stronger the emotions attached to the memory the stronger the energy from the moment. I would also make sure I have everything taken care of. That way my loved ones won't have as much to do when I am gone.
What would I want to happen if I am gone? I would want to be cremated and have my ashes divided up in all the states I have lived. I also would want some of my ashes to be thrown into the ocean to be free. The rest of them can be given to anyone who wants some. Maybe have the remaining ashes made into jewelry for those closest to me. With all the artist I know and have known I am sure someone could figure something out. Other than that I just want everyone to get together, maybe have some drinks, have some homemade food (no store bought or catered food please. I like home cooking best. I was spoiled growing up), definitely has to have music, dancing, and some stories about me. No mourning though if you can help it. Just remember I lived my life trying to make people smile. Oh I also have a poem I wrote in High School for that time and as for my stuff divide it fairly without fighting please.
Sorry if this depressed anyone. I just felt something needed to be said. We all need to live our lives in between knowing tomorrow may never come and knowing tomorrow may come faster than we expect. Don't let today stop you from doing the things you want to do. Start planning and working toward your goals now, but don't forget to plan for tomorrow as well.
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