The People We See

When you see someone what do you notice first? The very first thing before anything else.

Me personally I see a person. I can honestly say I would be the worst witness for who was some place when something happens. I mean I see people and I notice them when I see them, but the things I notice would be hard to use for a description. It takes me a while to notice the outer part of a person. Well unless it is something that sticks out. Like there is this one lady I have seen ride the bus and I so want to know her story, because she has all different kinds and colors of piercings. Yet I am fairly certain walking up to her and asking her why she has so many piercings on her face would be constituted as rude instead of just interested curiosity.

Another person was this guy who had regular AA batteries in his ear lobes. Now I have seen a lot of things. I have seen gauged earrings (which some of those earrings are amazing looking, but I still want to wear my regular ones so I won't do it), I have seen people put safety pins in their ears, and even paperclips in their ears. Yet I so wanted to go up to this guy and ask "So why did you chose to put batteries in your ears?"

Granted I am not judging either of these people. Actually I find them quite fascinating and I would love the chance to hear the stories behind why.

You see I wouldn't make a great witness, because while everyone else is noticing their hair color, clothes, skin color, and all the stuff that allows you to spot the person. I am watching for clues to who the person is. Granted hair style and clothes can sometimes give me clues to that I have found that there are other things that are a better gauge. How a person talks can tell me a lot about a person. I don't mean accents (though sometimes those will help). I mean the words themselves that they are saying and how they string them together to form a thought. Our words are influenced by the music we listen to, our friends, family, education, tv, radio, where we were brought up, and sometimes even our hobbies. Also how we speak can tell another person some of the places you have been. Such as certain words or phrases that a person says will let me know they have been in prison. It isn't just the words though. It is also how they say those words and who they say them to. Words can also tell me if a young person thinks they are bad or if they are more focused on being a kid. Words are a powerful weapon and many people will judge others off of their words. When someone meets you they may think you are smart due to what you say or they may think you are dumb due to what you say. I have been told that being quiet can actually prevent you from making a wrong impression. I can see that, but it also can make you seem aloof, stuck up, or unapproachable. Talking to much can make yo seem like a know it all (even if you don't think you know it all. You just are trying to be a part of a conversation you thought someone was having with you), it can make you seem like you aren't listening to the other person (even when you hear them and you again are trying to have a conversation that isn't one sided), or make you seem dumb since you may not know something or may say something wrong. Our words hold heavy weight. They can also hurt people on purpose or by accident just by the infliction of them or the wording of them. They can also help someone find understanding if given to someone who wants to hear them.

Another thing that gives people an insight to who you are is how you carry yourself. If you kind of slouch and try to disappear into the corner or the shadows then you may come off as insecure or shy. If you stand up straight and carry yourself with to much confidence then people might think your arrogant and self righteous. There are many ways you can carry yourself. Honestly I think the unknown, unthinking posture that people have can tell a person a great deal about a person. If I had held to some of my first instincts when I saw some of my ex boyfriends walking up toward me I might have been better off. Yet I believe in giving people a chance to introduce who they are to me since sometimes people can be victims of circumstances or past mistakes. Call it my good heart or my Mother Theresa syndrome or whatever you want. Sometimes I wonder if my Grandma suffered from it as well and that it was my Grandpa marrying her that kept her out of trouble. LOL. Who knows. Oh I got off track again. Basically how you carry yourself could be a big part of how people will judge who you are.

Clothes will also tell you some things about a person. Just please don't judge me by my clothes. LOL. I am a klutz and I can literally walk out of the house pristine and in a matter of minutes look like a mess due to the forces that be. Yet some people purposely walk out of their house with their undergarments showing or a number of other fashion choices I don't understand. Again I am not judging. I believe in free will and choice and I have been called odd or crazy due to some of my fashion choices. Yet I do know one thing if I see someone wearing an Otep shirt they like metal music. If they are wearing a Garth Brooks shirt, a baseball cap, some tight jeans (gotta love the tight jeans), and some cowboy boots they probably like country music. Just like a person wearing a NASCAR jacket probably likes NASCAR. The same goes with some clothes can tell me the type of work you do. If you are wearing a coveralls with grease stains I am going to guess you are a mechanic (especially if your name is on them or a company name is). If you are wearing black slacks, comfortable black shoes, and a polo shirt that says Taco Bell I am guessing you work at Taco Bell. If you are wearing a suit depending on the type of suit I will either guess you work in an office, a sells job, or a high end Call Center. The nicer the suit the better the job I am going to guess. So clothes may not make the person, but they can give clues as to who they are and where they work. Oh also funny sayin's on a t-shirt can give me insight on what kind of sense of humor you have.

Then there is your cleanliness. Granted most of us I hope like to take baths or showers on a regular basis. If not and you have them available I might suggest please start using them for the sake of those around you. Yet there are other things that can give a clue as to the person. Again please don't judge me due to I find ironing a pointless thing unless there are major wrinkles since by the time I get where I am going it will look like I didn't iron them any way. Also don't judge me for anything that spilled, rubbed on to, or attached itself to my clothes. I try not to get things on my clothes, but I swear I am one of those people that things just attach themselves to me. Plus I am a huge klutz. I will literally walk into things, run into things, spill things, or knock something over at least 20-30 times a day. Also if there is something I can cut myself on or burn myself with some how it will happen. It is a given and I accept it. So back to cleanliness. If someone has clothes that obviously haven't been washed or has severe wrinkles in them a lot of people will wonder about them. Then again I have had people judge me due to a few fuzzies on my clothes, a mark on my clothes that some how got there between home and where I was going, oh and for not dressing to the nines all the time. I like looking nice, but I also like to be comfortable. The good news is I am usually clean except after scrubbing the house, hiking, a long week/weekend of camping, or doing something messy. Oh and I am lovable, sweet, caring, and if you don't judge me I won't judge you. Yet if you are really stinky or nasty I probably will avoid you since it does gross me out. I will tell you though even though I won't judge you for holes in your clothes, wrinkles, stains, or wearing whatever makes you happy there are people who will.

Finally one of my favorite things that people notice a lot is your facial expression. If you are smiling and it is genuine I have found that it actually will cheer people up. I am not sure why, but I have been told by people that just seeing my smiling face has brightened a bad day. No, this wasn't just perverted guys who wanted to get in my pants. This was people of all ages, different walks of life, and different sexes. I don't think it was due to me being pretty or anything like that since I know there were times I looked horrific and people told me my smile brightened their day. I think it was seeing someone who was genuinely happy that made the difference. Also a mean scowl can ruin a person's day as fast as a genuine smile can. I know it can, because it has ruined mine a few times. It is amazing how our expressions can not only tell people about us, but affect how people around us feel. If someone has psychotic expression on their face and you don't know them then you probably would feel fear. If someone looks sad and is crying you don't have to know them to feel sad for them or maybe you are one of those people who is so jaded you think they are trying to get sympathy for no reason. Either way you feel something when you notice another person's expressions just like others feel something when they see yours. What I want to know though is why when I am sad does everyone avoid me and not talk to me yet when someone else is sad those same people ask them what is wrong? Hhhhhmmmm! Sorry. Just a question I have often wondered about. People rarely ask me what is wrong when I am crying or upset. They usually wait for a moment when I am past it or avoid it all together. Just was wondering why. So again our expressions can encourage people to approach us or steer far away from us or just feel indifference toward us.

So the next time you are some where and see someone for the first time think about what you noticed first, what you thought, how you reacted, and how did it make you feel. Then think about all that in reverse. What if they were thinking exactly that about you?